As I was thinking about my birthday, a shock of reality hit me that I will be turning 29, which is the last number before 30! Suddenly, I started wondering about my life! What has my life amounted to?! I am possibly approaching halfway through a lifetime and what do I have to show for it?
I do have some wins I can talk about. I've been in different occupations: Pizza, Accounting, Filing, Cashier, Bus Driving, Supervisor, Door-to-Door Sales, and Teaching; I've driven across the U.S. I've fallen in love, had my heart broken; and, I've established several meaningful relationships along the way.
However, I feel like I haven't overcome my most hauntingly awful weakness of my life. I'm not even sure I've come close. Since I was a 5 year-old girl, I have been obese and even morbidly obese at times. I suppose various stresses on my childhood could attribute, along with my parental guidance, and financial conditions growing up. But, now, here I am, a grown woman, and still without complete control over my body. I've got over 20 years of experience being overweight. Its no wonder, I doubt myself when I consider the possibility of being a lean lady, able to fit in anything under a double digit size dress wear.
I do have one thing rooting for me though. I may not fully ever change my chubby girl status, but I can certainly run, and even enjoy myself! That has proven true throughout the year 2013. The year prior to that, I had fallen in love with another teacher at my school. It was mutual and I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. I was ready to, anyway. I was constantly being inspired by his activity in running events and triathlons. I ran/walked my first 5K in 2000 when my brother talked us into signing up for the Bryce Canyon 5K that he was running a half marathon in. I remember being inspired there, but never once thought I would actually be able to run a half. I actually cried when I saw a 72 year old woman, hunched over, cross the finish line before my fit, healthy 24 year-old brother. That was pretty impressive! Anyway, when I went to my then, boyfriend's running event to support him in 2012, I was stopped at a exhibitioner booth and was told if I signed up for a woman's 5K that day, I'd save a lot of money AND get a free training shirt! The event wasn't for another 7 months.
The Woman's 5K Running Magazine was my first running event that I ran the whole time. It was a slow pace of something a little over 12 minutes. I remember darting past people at the start line who were walking, I did so much going around at the start, that according to my GPS, I had added a little over a half mile to the route! That was stupid. lol
However, I learned a lot from that experience and decided to sign up for more. My then boyfriend was very excited about me doing running events with him. We did a Turkey Day 5K, a Hot Chocolate 5K, and we were planning to do the Commitment Day 5K in Jan, but we broke up 5 days before Christmas. That sucked.
As you can imagine, I was pretty broken up about it, but I remember going for a Christmas Day run and thinking to myself that I owe it to myself to keep running. Who knows? Maybe I'll drop the extra 100 lbs on my body and finally be the fit, healthy version of me, I've always wanted. I talked two of my siblings into signing up for the commitment day run with me. I think they did it out of pity at first, but I know they were so happy they did it at the end.
I, on the other hand, had a lot going through my mind during that run. I remember thinking how I wanted to push through this run but it was hard. I watched as my brother passed me, right away. And then, my sister passed me. She was active in high school but, at the time, hadn't done much running and was overweight from previous pregnancies. I felt like I was being left in the dust! I skipped aid stations to try to keep up. She was long gone. I talked to her at the end and she said she ran the whole time but stopped at the aid stations. I told myself I wanted to do what I could to take better care of myself so I wouldn't be left so far behind again.
The year 2013 was so awesome! I ran a skirt chaser in Feb, in which I got my friend to run with me. It was her first 5K, I think. She was much skinnier than I, but she ran at an incredibly slower pace. I was surprised, but nonetheless grateful that she would come running with me. It was at that moment that I decided I wanted to add another New Year resolution to run at least 12 events in the next 12 months. After each event, I would come home, write my pace down on my bib number and hang it up on the wall. I had created quite the runner's banner!
After my success with the Skirt Chaser, I also decided to commit to running my first half marathon. I ran that on July 13, 2013. I was worried when I injured myself, jumping off a 50 ft cliff in Havasupai that I wouldn't be able to do it. I had to take a couple weeks off of my training plan just before the event. But, I still did it! I finished at about 2:23.
After that event, however, I started declining in my pace. It was strange. I wonder if it had anything to do with running into my ex and the conversations we had in person and on the phone. I'm not sure, but something happened and it discouraged my running a bit. I accomplished my New Year goal and I even did 13 events instead of 12! But, for some reason, I didn't continue on that running path and used addressing my finances as an excuse. I think there was something else keeping me from moving forward, like the adversary.
The adversary is that awful thing that keeps telling you about your inadequacies and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.
I've taken a hiatus from running, so to speak. I have gained back the 15lbs I lost and feel like I'm on the verge of gaining more. I forced myself to go on a walk/run while visiting my mom in Kingman a few weeks ago and thats when I felt inspired to start a blog to share my story. I'm a little nervous about this, because I don't typically share my thoughts and feelings and personal failures/triumphs with the world. But, I feel like some of the best inspirations have been while I was on a run and maybe I should consider that before tossing it aside because it'd be easier to.
If I hadn't followed the inspiration to sign up for a Ragnar with a bunch of strangers, I would not have had the incredible experience of running a Ragnar this past Feb. I also wouldn't have met a group of wonderful people who were just as excited to run a Ragnar as I was! I'm stoked and feel more prepared to one day do it again! Anyway, I'm following that feeling I had during a run, trusting that it will lead to something positive in my life.
Which, brings me back to what I want to accomplish in my life before turning 30. I'm calling it the 30 Before 30, which was inspired by a very awesome girlfriend of mine.
I'm still compiling it but this is what I have so far:
1.
Run a half marathon in 2 hours
2.
Run a marathon
3.
Fly on an airplane
4.
Get a passport
5.
Travel outside the country
6.
Play a song on the guitar
7.
Play a drum cadence
8.
Complete a trail Run
9.
Whiten Teeth
10.
Finish the Old Testament
11.
Visit 10 different temples
12.
Try a new backpacking adventure
13.
Do at least 5 gymnastic moves
14.
Learn a song on the piano and
sing along
15.
Participate in at least 10 events
16.
Reach a goal weight of 165 or
less
17.
Run a 5k in 30 min or less
18. Pay off Credit Card Debt
As you can see, I have some serious running goals on here. My plan is to post my running plans, failures, and successes. Hopefully, I'll have more of the latter. I've already started working on my exercise plans. Here is my plan. Its a little different than what you might find on a running website. But, I currently am under the belief that moderation will help me in the long run to avoid injury and burnout. Yesterday, I didn't do a P90X workout, but a Kathy Smith workout instead. I'm flexible and believe it will be in my best interest to be. Today, I'll probably have to run on the treadmill. 111 degree weather isn't going to cut it. Hopefully, I can get into a routine where I actually get up early enough to "beat the heat" 90 degrees is better, anyway.
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| The Beginning of the My Running Plans |
I have started to work on the next months as well, but will make adjustments as necessary:
So, I've got my exercise plan in place. My diet is another story for another day...
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