On Monday, September 22nd, I woke up around 6:30am, washed off my body (leaving my hair dry) and put on my black and neon yellow nike shorts and my neon yellow tank. I headed over to my sister's house to do the P90X Fit Test. I had been doing the P90X workouts on some of my non-running days but my sister wanted her DVDs back so it was time I bought my own. When it arrived in the mail with the little booklet, I decided it would be worth a read. I never looked into the P90X program for myself because I always thought it was too extreme for me and that because I am obese, it wouldn't be a good fit for me. It seemed like a program for the fit who just needed to take it to the next level and become ripped.
So, I looked at the booklet and it told me to watch the "Bring It" video on their beachbody.com site. I couldn't find it right away so I started clicking on "Success Stories" -specifically the ones that had "before" pictures of women who looked closer to how I look now. I didn't think I would find any but I did. I started getting really excited for these women and I started think, maybe I really can become sculpted in 90 days. My heart started pumping and I decided to finish reading the booklet, read the nutrition plan and go from there. I found the DVD in my set for the "How to Bring It" video and watched it. Before I knew it, I started crying because for the first time, in years, I felt like maybe I really can become lean and have a sculpted body! I still have the pang in the back of my mind that tells me I have always failed at doing this. But, I'm fighting it! I have never given P90X a chance before. Maybe, I ought to!
I did the Fit test the morning of my birthday on Monday. I was feeling torn between doing the Lean workout program or the Classic. I told myself I can do a week of the Lean and kind of get myself ready for the full program. I am going to start the Classic on Monday and include the nutrition goals of a high protein/low carb/low fat diet for this first week. After which, I think I'll enter Phase II of the nutrition plan and eat a more balanced diet. I'll continue journalling my diet on MyFitnessPal.
I am nervous that I'll feel weak without the carbs and fat I'm used to allowing myself to have. To relieve myself of the anxiety, I will allow myself one free meal a week (Friday night).
I am still a little nervous about the intense workouts but after completing this week of the Lean plan, I am feeling pumped and ready. I am already feeling the shift in energy. And, I swear my nike shorts fit me better today than they did on Monday!
This is going to be the best next year for my body! I am going to push hard for the next 90 days and give this P90X thing a shot! If I have the energy and time, I'll still fit in a few runs throughout the week or maybe just on Saturdays. But, I'm going to give the P90X a shot at changing my chubby body into a lean, strong body.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
Miracles
I had a super busy weekend. I had a going away party for a good friend of mine on Friday night. Saturday morning, I had a wedding to attend in Mesa and then a wedding reception in Goodyear later that same evening. Yesterday, as soon as I woke up, I started working on my lesson plan for the Relief Society sisters in my church. I simply just did not have the time to do it earlier in the week. And, if I did have time, I certainly didn't have the inspiration yet. As a member of the presidency, you choose the topic and you don't just follow a teaching manual.
I was hoping it wouldn't take too long, but I used every minute I could towards the planning until it was time to shower and head out the door. The lesson went very well so it made it all worth it. After the meeting, we had dinner as a ward and then my friend asked me if I was going to the fireside for single adults age 25-33. I was hoping to get cooking done for the week and get things ready for school the next day as well as make sure I go to bed on time. I really felt like I should be at the fireside. It was in Tempe so I carpooled with her there.
It was a good spiritual message. I met a couple of people there before it started and then several more people afterwards. We stayed to mingle for much longer than I had intended. That's the trouble with carpooling. We didn't leave until about 9:30 or so. I wasn't able to get to bed until 11pm. I was feeling so stressed and overwhelmed because I have made efforts to approach this week proactively. I put my daily routine goals into a word document. But, going to bed that late would surely throw a wrench into my plans. I don't do very well without adequate sleep.
I said a prayer and asked for help to be able to sleep and wake up on time. It rained so hard throughout the night I woke up a couple of times. When my alarm went off at 5am, I pushed snooze. I was so tired that it felt like the alarm just went off again right away. Annoyed, that something was wrong with it, I looked at the time while I pushed snooze again and saw that it really did "snooze" because it was 5:09am. This repeated a couple of times until I gave up and turned it off. I didn't wake up until 6:45am and it was a real struggle. I felt like my prayer wasn't answered at all, but I was still going to keep a positive attitude and make sure I get out the door by 7:15am. I rushed to get ready and was held up by a couple of other things that were not in my control.
I got out the door at about 7:20am without breakfast or makeup. Then, as I'm driving I am held up by all of the flooding on the streets. For some reason, I feel calm. I know I'm doing everything that I can do to make it on time to work and to have a successful day. When I realize there is no way I'll make it to work by 7:30am, I grab my phone to text my boss. That's when I see a text from a coworker. The words, "Buckeye Elementary School District has cancelled school today Monday, September 8, 2014 due to extreme weather. Thank you! No school today"
My heart about lept out of my chest I was so excited! Then I told myself not to get too excited until I check my email and have it confirmed for myself. There wasn't an email. I called her. She's a parent and was informed at 6:30am through email, text, and a phone call. Plus, our assistant principal had texted her. I immediately got so excited! It looks like I will be able to accomplish the things I need to accomplish, after all!
It was a reminder to me that a lot of times God doesn't answer prayers the way we expect him to. But, it doesn't mean He doesn't have a better plan for you. That was shared a lot in testimony meeting yesterday. Several people shared their experiences of how God's plan for us often isn't the plan we had in mind for ourselves. But, His plan is better than we could have imagined.
I know I wasn't expecting to be turning 30 before being married. But, I have recently been thinking about how grateful I am to have these experiences in the single adult ward that I would not be having otherwise. I really love my ward and my friends. It can be very difficult to have these types of experiences when you are in a relationship. I'm not saying one is better than the other. I'm just grateful I get to have these fun times now and I expect I'll have fun times later with someone special. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the friendships that I have and the time I have to continue building a relationship with myself.
I finally finished my 30 Before 30 list. The last one is going to be the most challenging. As a girl, I'm not sure how to make this happen in an LDS Christian world. I feel like the boys in this culture are typically more timid about asking for numbers or implying they like you. They seem to be a little awkward about it. I was just talking to some people last night about the time a guy gave me his number and I thought it was brilliant. He gave me his number and told me to call him. I waited a few days, debating on whether or not I wanted to, but the fact is, it was comforting to know he was confident enough to put the ball in my court and let me make the call when I was comfortable enough to do it. I want to put the word out there to all the good men that that approach is GENIUS! The girls I have talked to about it all gave it some thought and agreed that they really liked that idea.
Anyway, how to get a guy to do that is something else. Also, I am worried about the last goal being something that will scare guys off. But, I also feel like if I go after this, I'll have some experiences that will help me grow and develop anyway. It could be fun! …I just hope it won't end up being a negative, damaging experience lol.
I am looking at my list and realizing that some of these are going to take a miracle to complete. But, as I've seen today, miracles really can and do happen.
I was hoping it wouldn't take too long, but I used every minute I could towards the planning until it was time to shower and head out the door. The lesson went very well so it made it all worth it. After the meeting, we had dinner as a ward and then my friend asked me if I was going to the fireside for single adults age 25-33. I was hoping to get cooking done for the week and get things ready for school the next day as well as make sure I go to bed on time. I really felt like I should be at the fireside. It was in Tempe so I carpooled with her there.
It was a good spiritual message. I met a couple of people there before it started and then several more people afterwards. We stayed to mingle for much longer than I had intended. That's the trouble with carpooling. We didn't leave until about 9:30 or so. I wasn't able to get to bed until 11pm. I was feeling so stressed and overwhelmed because I have made efforts to approach this week proactively. I put my daily routine goals into a word document. But, going to bed that late would surely throw a wrench into my plans. I don't do very well without adequate sleep.
I said a prayer and asked for help to be able to sleep and wake up on time. It rained so hard throughout the night I woke up a couple of times. When my alarm went off at 5am, I pushed snooze. I was so tired that it felt like the alarm just went off again right away. Annoyed, that something was wrong with it, I looked at the time while I pushed snooze again and saw that it really did "snooze" because it was 5:09am. This repeated a couple of times until I gave up and turned it off. I didn't wake up until 6:45am and it was a real struggle. I felt like my prayer wasn't answered at all, but I was still going to keep a positive attitude and make sure I get out the door by 7:15am. I rushed to get ready and was held up by a couple of other things that were not in my control.
I got out the door at about 7:20am without breakfast or makeup. Then, as I'm driving I am held up by all of the flooding on the streets. For some reason, I feel calm. I know I'm doing everything that I can do to make it on time to work and to have a successful day. When I realize there is no way I'll make it to work by 7:30am, I grab my phone to text my boss. That's when I see a text from a coworker. The words, "Buckeye Elementary School District has cancelled school today Monday, September 8, 2014 due to extreme weather. Thank you! No school today"
My heart about lept out of my chest I was so excited! Then I told myself not to get too excited until I check my email and have it confirmed for myself. There wasn't an email. I called her. She's a parent and was informed at 6:30am through email, text, and a phone call. Plus, our assistant principal had texted her. I immediately got so excited! It looks like I will be able to accomplish the things I need to accomplish, after all!
It was a reminder to me that a lot of times God doesn't answer prayers the way we expect him to. But, it doesn't mean He doesn't have a better plan for you. That was shared a lot in testimony meeting yesterday. Several people shared their experiences of how God's plan for us often isn't the plan we had in mind for ourselves. But, His plan is better than we could have imagined.
I know I wasn't expecting to be turning 30 before being married. But, I have recently been thinking about how grateful I am to have these experiences in the single adult ward that I would not be having otherwise. I really love my ward and my friends. It can be very difficult to have these types of experiences when you are in a relationship. I'm not saying one is better than the other. I'm just grateful I get to have these fun times now and I expect I'll have fun times later with someone special. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the friendships that I have and the time I have to continue building a relationship with myself.
I finally finished my 30 Before 30 list. The last one is going to be the most challenging. As a girl, I'm not sure how to make this happen in an LDS Christian world. I feel like the boys in this culture are typically more timid about asking for numbers or implying they like you. They seem to be a little awkward about it. I was just talking to some people last night about the time a guy gave me his number and I thought it was brilliant. He gave me his number and told me to call him. I waited a few days, debating on whether or not I wanted to, but the fact is, it was comforting to know he was confident enough to put the ball in my court and let me make the call when I was comfortable enough to do it. I want to put the word out there to all the good men that that approach is GENIUS! The girls I have talked to about it all gave it some thought and agreed that they really liked that idea.
Anyway, how to get a guy to do that is something else. Also, I am worried about the last goal being something that will scare guys off. But, I also feel like if I go after this, I'll have some experiences that will help me grow and develop anyway. It could be fun! …I just hope it won't end up being a negative, damaging experience lol.
I am looking at my list and realizing that some of these are going to take a miracle to complete. But, as I've seen today, miracles really can and do happen.
1.
Pay off credit card
debt
2.
Run a half marathon in 2 hours
3.
Run a marathon
4.
Fly on an airplane
5.
Get a passport
6.
Travel outside the country
7.
Play a song on the guitar
8.
Play a drum cadence
9.
Complete a trail Run
10.
Whiten Teeth
11.
Finish the Old Testament
12.
Visit 10 different temples
13.
Try a new backpacking adventure
14.
Do at least 5 gymnastic moves
15.
Learn a song on the piano and
sing along
16.
Write a song
17.
Reach a “healthy” weight
18.
Run a 5k in 30 min or less
19.
Start a public blog
20.
Learn a song on the guitar
21.
Learn to Ski or Snow Board
22.
Hike to the top of Humphrey’s
Peak
23.
Sew something
24.
Go surfing
25.
Take a dance class
26.
Take a mud bath
27.
Have a spa day
28.
Create a music video
29.
Hike camelback over and back
30.
Go on 30 dates in 1 year
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Run for Desire
This week was crazy packed full of band registrations, band rental night, and meetings with students and parents. It was tough to come home and want to do anything but forget all my troubles and watch episodes of Grey's Anatomy while eating. If I didn't get my workouts in before going to work, it just didn't happen. Luckily, I got up and worked out for 20-30 min before work most days. The most unfortunate thing about my workouts was the length of them. I came up a little short on each workout because I simply just didn't want to get up earlier. My desire to sleep seemed to be a little higher than my desire for working out.
Here is what my week actually looked like:
Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat Sun
X-Stretch 10 min :( Run 2 Mi Run 3 Mi X C&B :( Run 6 Mi
Walk .5 Mile 25 min
Today, I ran 6 miles and it felt fantastic. Part of the reason I ran that far was because I could, without feeling rushed. It was the same thing that happened on Thurs. I had a goal to run 3 miles when I got up in the morning and because I had woken up just 15 minutes earlier, I was able to do it! 15 minutes made all the difference.
The other reason I made it to the gym to run 6 miles was because I recently read a small fact in regards to will power. There was something that resonated with me and where I've been at emotionally the past several months. It said that the more you repeat certain actions, the more your desire will increase to continue to do those certain actions. It made absolute sense! The more I was running last year, the more I wanted to! And, on the contrary, the more I've indulged in other things and didn't workout, the more I wanted to indulge in other things and not work out. And, here I am with the lack of desire to get up early and run on most days, but I have the want to want to and for now, that's enough. Because, when I do finally want to run all of the time again, it will feel incredible!
So, today, I made sure I went to the gym and ran 6 miles on the treadmill (it was just too hot to do it outside). I watched Man of Steel in Gold's Gym's Cardio Cinema and ran on average of about 13 min/miles. It was super slow, but comfortable. I watched my heart rate and tried to stay below 170 and closer to the 150s bpm as much as possible. Its still high for where I'm supposed to be, but it felt comfortable enough. During the run, I continued to think about how running for a desire to run would most certainly work. I've said this before and I'll say it again; Most of my best inspirations come during a good, long run. So, of course, it must be something worth moving forward with!
I felt so good after that run! It was an enjoyable experience because I didn't push too hard or "punish" myself mentally for going so slow. I've decided that this run was not about the pace but about going the distance, and most importantly, running for the desire to run.
I talked to some friends and got really excited about doing a hike this Saturday. I've always loved hiking and doing these fun activities but have been feeling so out of shape and ashamed, that its made me clam up a little. After my good run, I felt confident enough to bring it up and now we're planning to go hiking up camelback on Saturday! Wahoo!
This week, I'm going to make sure I do my workouts with the mental shift from doing it because I want to accomplish my goals, but doing it because I want to want to workout and run.
Here is what my week actually looked like:
Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat Sun
X-Stretch 10 min :( Run 2 Mi Run 3 Mi X C&B :( Run 6 Mi
Walk .5 Mile 25 min
Today, I ran 6 miles and it felt fantastic. Part of the reason I ran that far was because I could, without feeling rushed. It was the same thing that happened on Thurs. I had a goal to run 3 miles when I got up in the morning and because I had woken up just 15 minutes earlier, I was able to do it! 15 minutes made all the difference.
The other reason I made it to the gym to run 6 miles was because I recently read a small fact in regards to will power. There was something that resonated with me and where I've been at emotionally the past several months. It said that the more you repeat certain actions, the more your desire will increase to continue to do those certain actions. It made absolute sense! The more I was running last year, the more I wanted to! And, on the contrary, the more I've indulged in other things and didn't workout, the more I wanted to indulge in other things and not work out. And, here I am with the lack of desire to get up early and run on most days, but I have the want to want to and for now, that's enough. Because, when I do finally want to run all of the time again, it will feel incredible!
So, today, I made sure I went to the gym and ran 6 miles on the treadmill (it was just too hot to do it outside). I watched Man of Steel in Gold's Gym's Cardio Cinema and ran on average of about 13 min/miles. It was super slow, but comfortable. I watched my heart rate and tried to stay below 170 and closer to the 150s bpm as much as possible. Its still high for where I'm supposed to be, but it felt comfortable enough. During the run, I continued to think about how running for a desire to run would most certainly work. I've said this before and I'll say it again; Most of my best inspirations come during a good, long run. So, of course, it must be something worth moving forward with!
I felt so good after that run! It was an enjoyable experience because I didn't push too hard or "punish" myself mentally for going so slow. I've decided that this run was not about the pace but about going the distance, and most importantly, running for the desire to run.
I talked to some friends and got really excited about doing a hike this Saturday. I've always loved hiking and doing these fun activities but have been feeling so out of shape and ashamed, that its made me clam up a little. After my good run, I felt confident enough to bring it up and now we're planning to go hiking up camelback on Saturday! Wahoo!
This week, I'm going to make sure I do my workouts with the mental shift from doing it because I want to accomplish my goals, but doing it because I want to want to workout and run.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Carboholism
I ate a couple of pistachios after school to hold me over while I waited until a parent could get off work to come over with her son to do an instrument assessment. It worked quite well because I wasn't the least bit hungry when I got home. I just felt like I should eat because thats what I do when I get home. I actually felt more thirsty than anything. I don't know why I didn't just drink a giant glass of water. Earlier today, I thought about how not tired I was after lunch. I wasn't hungry for lunch yesterday because I snacked on a protein shake and decided to listen to The Primal Blueprint's idea of when to eat. Basically, I was told not to confine the idea of eating at certain times but just simply listen to my body and feed it when its hungry. I can tell the sugars in my system have finally settled because its getting slightly easier to do that.
I remember countless times when I've been at work that I almost regret eating lunch because within an hour, I'd start getting really sleepy. That didn't happen today! I believe its because of a couple of things. I went on an easy pace jog this morning, I haven't eaten sugar-based carbs since Saturday, and the lunch I had was Dak Galbi, minus the perille leaves because I could never find any. I used the recipe from maanchi.com. Its full of veggies and chicken. The only thing unhealthy are the "rice cakes" but I'm not feeling too guilty about it since it obviously doesn't have a carb overload effect on me with all of the other stuff.
When I eat a lot of carbs -especially refined carbs, its like I go on a craze and can't find my way back to a calm pattern of eating and even exercise. When it's really bad, it becomes all I think about when I am not otherwise completely pre-occupied. In fact, I believe that the habit of coming home and eating (even when I'm not hungry) is somehow associated with this association I have to the times I had binged on things like cake, ice cream, chocolate, etc. I almost didn't even want to write those things down because of the power of suggestion behind those words. Like the time I kept seeing that stupid Ben & Jerry's commercial because it seemed to be the only sponsor for the show I was watching on Hulu!
When I was young and naive I didn't understand how someone would be hooked on smoking or on alcohol. I would think, "Why don't they just, stop?"
Now, here I am, realizing I have a similar addiction to carbs. Why don't I just stop? The only way to do that, I guess, is first recognize I have a serious problem. Stop pretending this is normal!
I also wonder if those cravings will ever truly go away. I know they can go way down, but it would be awesome if they were gone completely and I could have a healthy relationship with food permanently.
I think I just have to figure out the threshold. The breaking point. Whatever it is that sends me off the deep end.
Right now, my theories are with combinations. For instance, if I eat tons of sugary foods, typically because of some celebration, for more than one day in a row, I'm in code yellow-red territory. If it is 3 or more, I've gone off the deep end and it may take me some serious concentration to get me back to rational food thoughts again.
Another combination is lack of sleep, which also usually starts the domino effect of no desire to exercise and dehydration. When I don't sleep at normal hours, I forget to replenish my body for all of the unusual amount of moisture it is losing to keep me functioning. Not to mention, the fact that my brain's main source of energy is glucose. Those things combined also spin me into a lack of judgement and an increase of indulgence.
Bill Philips, in his book Body For Life, talks about those things as "unauthorized patterns of action." When I first read it, I didn't really connect to it, but I guess I've habituated them enough now that its finally sunk in. I need to be aware of those patterns of actions so I can try to avoid them. Like they say..the first step is realizing you have a problem. And, if at all possible, I think its best to avoid the problem.
Sometimes it won't be an option to avoid them. But, most of the time it is. I just have to be consciously aware, right?
He also talked about "authorized" patterns of action. In teaching, I like to call it looking at the positives. The things we say, "Yes!" to. For instance, I can say yes to trying to be in bed close or before 10pm. I can say, I will work out each morning. I will make sure I am staying hydrated. I will make sure I make a balanced use of my time so that I won't get over stressed and emotionally exhausted.
Yesterday morning, I got up early, did my sprint/walks for 1.21 miles and then did P90X Yoga for about 20 minutes. It was a great workout and I believe it is the reason I just had to get to bed early even though my typical Wed night distractions were awaiting me. I will allow myself to play with friends when it isn't too crazy stressful at work. It was the first day and I had too much on my plate to afford not going to bed early. I think you could say there was so much on my plate that I could not afford to have not worked out too. I'm so glad I did!
This morning, I got up and did my 2 mile run. I took it nice a slow. I didn't want to worry about pace at all but more about comfort. I think I stayed well within my heart rate zone until the very end when I started panic running because I got a little lost in my new neighborhood and was therefore running a little late to get ready for work. The run felt so good in that zone, even if it was slower than I would normally accept for myself. But, I think my choice to keep it easy was a good choice for today. I'm very happy about it. On my mapmyrun ap, I did a #tookiteasy but I really could have done a #finishedwithasmile.
Tomorrow is Kenpo X. I know I skipped legs and back this week, but I think the sore hamstrings from the sprints sort of, in a small way, make up for it.
I'm looking forward to the Kenpo X in the morning and then the jeans and t-shirt I get to wear to work! #happyfriday ;-)
I remember countless times when I've been at work that I almost regret eating lunch because within an hour, I'd start getting really sleepy. That didn't happen today! I believe its because of a couple of things. I went on an easy pace jog this morning, I haven't eaten sugar-based carbs since Saturday, and the lunch I had was Dak Galbi, minus the perille leaves because I could never find any. I used the recipe from maanchi.com. Its full of veggies and chicken. The only thing unhealthy are the "rice cakes" but I'm not feeling too guilty about it since it obviously doesn't have a carb overload effect on me with all of the other stuff.
When I eat a lot of carbs -especially refined carbs, its like I go on a craze and can't find my way back to a calm pattern of eating and even exercise. When it's really bad, it becomes all I think about when I am not otherwise completely pre-occupied. In fact, I believe that the habit of coming home and eating (even when I'm not hungry) is somehow associated with this association I have to the times I had binged on things like cake, ice cream, chocolate, etc. I almost didn't even want to write those things down because of the power of suggestion behind those words. Like the time I kept seeing that stupid Ben & Jerry's commercial because it seemed to be the only sponsor for the show I was watching on Hulu!
When I was young and naive I didn't understand how someone would be hooked on smoking or on alcohol. I would think, "Why don't they just, stop?"
Now, here I am, realizing I have a similar addiction to carbs. Why don't I just stop? The only way to do that, I guess, is first recognize I have a serious problem. Stop pretending this is normal!
I also wonder if those cravings will ever truly go away. I know they can go way down, but it would be awesome if they were gone completely and I could have a healthy relationship with food permanently.
I think I just have to figure out the threshold. The breaking point. Whatever it is that sends me off the deep end.
Right now, my theories are with combinations. For instance, if I eat tons of sugary foods, typically because of some celebration, for more than one day in a row, I'm in code yellow-red territory. If it is 3 or more, I've gone off the deep end and it may take me some serious concentration to get me back to rational food thoughts again.
Another combination is lack of sleep, which also usually starts the domino effect of no desire to exercise and dehydration. When I don't sleep at normal hours, I forget to replenish my body for all of the unusual amount of moisture it is losing to keep me functioning. Not to mention, the fact that my brain's main source of energy is glucose. Those things combined also spin me into a lack of judgement and an increase of indulgence.
Bill Philips, in his book Body For Life, talks about those things as "unauthorized patterns of action." When I first read it, I didn't really connect to it, but I guess I've habituated them enough now that its finally sunk in. I need to be aware of those patterns of actions so I can try to avoid them. Like they say..the first step is realizing you have a problem. And, if at all possible, I think its best to avoid the problem.
Sometimes it won't be an option to avoid them. But, most of the time it is. I just have to be consciously aware, right?
He also talked about "authorized" patterns of action. In teaching, I like to call it looking at the positives. The things we say, "Yes!" to. For instance, I can say yes to trying to be in bed close or before 10pm. I can say, I will work out each morning. I will make sure I am staying hydrated. I will make sure I make a balanced use of my time so that I won't get over stressed and emotionally exhausted.
Yesterday morning, I got up early, did my sprint/walks for 1.21 miles and then did P90X Yoga for about 20 minutes. It was a great workout and I believe it is the reason I just had to get to bed early even though my typical Wed night distractions were awaiting me. I will allow myself to play with friends when it isn't too crazy stressful at work. It was the first day and I had too much on my plate to afford not going to bed early. I think you could say there was so much on my plate that I could not afford to have not worked out too. I'm so glad I did!
This morning, I got up and did my 2 mile run. I took it nice a slow. I didn't want to worry about pace at all but more about comfort. I think I stayed well within my heart rate zone until the very end when I started panic running because I got a little lost in my new neighborhood and was therefore running a little late to get ready for work. The run felt so good in that zone, even if it was slower than I would normally accept for myself. But, I think my choice to keep it easy was a good choice for today. I'm very happy about it. On my mapmyrun ap, I did a #tookiteasy but I really could have done a #finishedwithasmile.
Tomorrow is Kenpo X. I know I skipped legs and back this week, but I think the sore hamstrings from the sprints sort of, in a small way, make up for it.
I'm looking forward to the Kenpo X in the morning and then the jeans and t-shirt I get to wear to work! #happyfriday ;-)
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Should I Stay Or Should I Go
This has been quite the week! I cannot believe school is starting tomorrow. I haven't gotten my workouts in so much because I've been in the habit of putting it off until the afternoon or evening. I'm thinking I can't really afford to do that anymore since I am finding myself so exhausted and hungry when I get home that all I want to do is eat a dinner and vege out on Netflix for a little bit. A couple of short hours pass by and then its the inevitable fence. You ask yourself, "Should I go out for a night run? Will the Buckeye crop dust settling air be clear enough? I could drive myself over to the mountain trail, but that will add about 20-30 minutes of time to the work-out agenda. I think about the fun I'll have running on the trail and I start to go for it. But, then I realize that I am going to have to run with my night light on my forehead -which, is fine, I guess. But then I start remembering just how sweaty I got and how thirsty I was last time I went out on the mountain trail. I would have to bring my camelback. That's all fine and dandy, but its going to take time to get together.
Then, all of the sudden it sinks in that after the run, I will have to take a shower and dry my hair. Ugh. So…working out at night really isn't the best idea. Procrastinating in general isn't the best idea.
I added a few more things to my 30-Before-30 list and thought, "Wow! I have so much to do in only a year!" I've procrastinated a lot of things (like my health) for 28.9 years. Its time I get to it!
I am going to establish a morning routine. It will be difficult, especially at first. But, I think it will make a big difference.
Tomorrow, I will wake up at 5:30am to go for an early morning jog. Its time to actually follow through with my plans. I am going to do some run/walking for 1-1.5 miles and then come home and do part of P90X Yoga. It wasn't my original plan, but it will have to do.
Then, all of the sudden it sinks in that after the run, I will have to take a shower and dry my hair. Ugh. So…working out at night really isn't the best idea. Procrastinating in general isn't the best idea.
I added a few more things to my 30-Before-30 list and thought, "Wow! I have so much to do in only a year!" I've procrastinated a lot of things (like my health) for 28.9 years. Its time I get to it!
I am going to establish a morning routine. It will be difficult, especially at first. But, I think it will make a big difference.
Tomorrow, I will wake up at 5:30am to go for an early morning jog. Its time to actually follow through with my plans. I am going to do some run/walking for 1-1.5 miles and then come home and do part of P90X Yoga. It wasn't my original plan, but it will have to do.
I know I have only gotten a couple of views from my posts so far. But, if I pretend I have my own "readers" it might help me with that early morning argument I have with myself every time I decide to wake up early.
I just have to remember that if I get up right when I say I will, it will be a good day and the perfect start to a brand new school year. :-)
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Good Wolf/Bad Wolf
My summer vacation is coming to an abrupt end and I'm not ready for it! Last night, I met with a couple of cohorts and felt the stress rise as I started to grasp the reality of how much more I need to get accomplished. The dinner meeting went much later than expected. On the way home, I stopped by my sister's house to borrow her P90X DVDs and got held up there much later than expected. It was a good thing I was there. She is very pregnant with some back problems and needed help loading up her minivan for a trip to Disneyland! I am so excited for her kiddos to go for their first time. It was fun watching her pack for them and seeing how many princess dresses my niece has. It made me think about how tough it is to be a mom. That's just another reason I should work on my health! If I ever become a mom someday, I'm gonna need to have a lot more energy to be as good of a mom as I can be.
So, the other day, a friend of mine was talking about the good and bad inside of us and mentioned the analogy of a good wolf and a bad wolf that is within us. I was listening to him say how we can feed them one at a time and, if we choose, we can starve out one of them and the other could weaken and eventually die. This made me think about how different I am when I choose to eat refined carbs and unhealthy foods. When I'm in "self-indulgent" mode my healthy desires slowly fall the wayside and even become forgotten. I lose sight of my goals and become depressed. On the other hand, when I get out of that rut and truly feed my body healthy, nutritious things, while making healthy exercise and sleep choices consistently, I wonder why I would ever want to do anything else!
So, why do I go back to making unhealthy choices? Obviously, the unhealthy, "bad wolf" inside of me is still alive. It makes me wonder about what I can do to completely destroy it. One way, is to feed the healthy "good wolf." It can be challenging, at times, when things sneak up on us that are out of our control. For instance, the last couple of nights, there were unforeseen circumstances that led to me going to bed later than planned. I, therefore, was not able to get my run in yesterday and I wasn't able to get it in this morning either.
So, I still plan to do my P90X Plyometrics workout. But, do I try to fit in a run as well, or just accept that I missed it and move on to hopefully completing my run tomorrow? The last thing I want to do is not get enough running in to accomplish my goals. But, certainly running too much all at once could promote injury, which would have far worse consequences.
If I have time tonight, I'll try to fit in a couple of sprints, but if I don't get to it, I'm not going to beat myself up for it.
This week, I've decided to not eat any sugary junk foods. This is a change from my entire summer habits. I think its a good start to starving out the bad wolf. I will have sweets at Megan's birthday party on Saturday, but my goal is to not overindulge too much. I will still punch my calories into MyFitnessPal and own up to my food/exercise choices.
Its interesting how easy it was on Sunday and Monday to not have any sweets and how difficult it was yesterday. I believe that eating some toast in the morning had everything to do with it. I also was in a situation where I didn't have very many nutritional (plant-based) options. I'm noticing how much my food choices will effect my food cravings for the entire rest of the day. Its crazy! Its like giving the bad wolf a little really does strengthen it and makes it stronger!
So, today, I shall make better efforts to only feed the good wolf. :)
Saturday, July 26, 2014
The Inevitable Number 30
School is about to start. Which, means before I know it, my birthday will pop up. Its never a bad idea to start planning my birthday now because once school starts, I'll be preoccupied with how I can motivate my students to become better musicians, teammates, and leaders. So, summertime is the time I have to think about me.
As I was thinking about my birthday, a shock of reality hit me that I will be turning 29, which is the last number before 30! Suddenly, I started wondering about my life! What has my life amounted to?! I am possibly approaching halfway through a lifetime and what do I have to show for it?
I do have some wins I can talk about. I've been in different occupations: Pizza, Accounting, Filing, Cashier, Bus Driving, Supervisor, Door-to-Door Sales, and Teaching; I've driven across the U.S. I've fallen in love, had my heart broken; and, I've established several meaningful relationships along the way.
However, I feel like I haven't overcome my most hauntingly awful weakness of my life. I'm not even sure I've come close. Since I was a 5 year-old girl, I have been obese and even morbidly obese at times. I suppose various stresses on my childhood could attribute, along with my parental guidance, and financial conditions growing up. But, now, here I am, a grown woman, and still without complete control over my body. I've got over 20 years of experience being overweight. Its no wonder, I doubt myself when I consider the possibility of being a lean lady, able to fit in anything under a double digit size dress wear.
I do have one thing rooting for me though. I may not fully ever change my chubby girl status, but I can certainly run, and even enjoy myself! That has proven true throughout the year 2013. The year prior to that, I had fallen in love with another teacher at my school. It was mutual and I thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. I was ready to, anyway. I was constantly being inspired by his activity in running events and triathlons. I ran/walked my first 5K in 2000 when my brother talked us into signing up for the Bryce Canyon 5K that he was running a half marathon in. I remember being inspired there, but never once thought I would actually be able to run a half. I actually cried when I saw a 72 year old woman, hunched over, cross the finish line before my fit, healthy 24 year-old brother. That was pretty impressive! Anyway, when I went to my then, boyfriend's running event to support him in 2012, I was stopped at a exhibitioner booth and was told if I signed up for a woman's 5K that day, I'd save a lot of money AND get a free training shirt! The event wasn't for another 7 months.
The Woman's 5K Running Magazine was my first running event that I ran the whole time. It was a slow pace of something a little over 12 minutes. I remember darting past people at the start line who were walking, I did so much going around at the start, that according to my GPS, I had added a little over a half mile to the route! That was stupid. lol
However, I learned a lot from that experience and decided to sign up for more. My then boyfriend was very excited about me doing running events with him. We did a Turkey Day 5K, a Hot Chocolate 5K, and we were planning to do the Commitment Day 5K in Jan, but we broke up 5 days before Christmas. That sucked.
As you can imagine, I was pretty broken up about it, but I remember going for a Christmas Day run and thinking to myself that I owe it to myself to keep running. Who knows? Maybe I'll drop the extra 100 lbs on my body and finally be the fit, healthy version of me, I've always wanted. I talked two of my siblings into signing up for the commitment day run with me. I think they did it out of pity at first, but I know they were so happy they did it at the end.
I, on the other hand, had a lot going through my mind during that run. I remember thinking how I wanted to push through this run but it was hard. I watched as my brother passed me, right away. And then, my sister passed me. She was active in high school but, at the time, hadn't done much running and was overweight from previous pregnancies. I felt like I was being left in the dust! I skipped aid stations to try to keep up. She was long gone. I talked to her at the end and she said she ran the whole time but stopped at the aid stations. I told myself I wanted to do what I could to take better care of myself so I wouldn't be left so far behind again.
The year 2013 was so awesome! I ran a skirt chaser in Feb, in which I got my friend to run with me. It was her first 5K, I think. She was much skinnier than I, but she ran at an incredibly slower pace. I was surprised, but nonetheless grateful that she would come running with me. It was at that moment that I decided I wanted to add another New Year resolution to run at least 12 events in the next 12 months. After each event, I would come home, write my pace down on my bib number and hang it up on the wall. I had created quite the runner's banner!
After my success with the Skirt Chaser, I also decided to commit to running my first half marathon. I ran that on July 13, 2013. I was worried when I injured myself, jumping off a 50 ft cliff in Havasupai that I wouldn't be able to do it. I had to take a couple weeks off of my training plan just before the event. But, I still did it! I finished at about 2:23.
After that event, however, I started declining in my pace. It was strange. I wonder if it had anything to do with running into my ex and the conversations we had in person and on the phone. I'm not sure, but something happened and it discouraged my running a bit. I accomplished my New Year goal and I even did 13 events instead of 12! But, for some reason, I didn't continue on that running path and used addressing my finances as an excuse. I think there was something else keeping me from moving forward, like the adversary.
The adversary is that awful thing that keeps telling you about your inadequacies and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.
I've taken a hiatus from running, so to speak. I have gained back the 15lbs I lost and feel like I'm on the verge of gaining more. I forced myself to go on a walk/run while visiting my mom in Kingman a few weeks ago and thats when I felt inspired to start a blog to share my story. I'm a little nervous about this, because I don't typically share my thoughts and feelings and personal failures/triumphs with the world. But, I feel like some of the best inspirations have been while I was on a run and maybe I should consider that before tossing it aside because it'd be easier to.
If I hadn't followed the inspiration to sign up for a Ragnar with a bunch of strangers, I would not have had the incredible experience of running a Ragnar this past Feb. I also wouldn't have met a group of wonderful people who were just as excited to run a Ragnar as I was! I'm stoked and feel more prepared to one day do it again! Anyway, I'm following that feeling I had during a run, trusting that it will lead to something positive in my life.
Which, brings me back to what I want to accomplish in my life before turning 30. I'm calling it the 30 Before 30, which was inspired by a very awesome girlfriend of mine.
I'm still compiling it but this is what I have so far:
1.
Run a half marathon in 2 hours
2.
Run a marathon
3.
Fly on an airplane
4.
Get a passport
5.
Travel outside the country
6.
Play a song on the guitar
7.
Play a drum cadence
8.
Complete a trail Run
9.
Whiten Teeth
10.
Finish the Old Testament
11.
Visit 10 different temples
12.
Try a new backpacking adventure
13.
Do at least 5 gymnastic moves
14.
Learn a song on the piano and
sing along
15.
Participate in at least 10 events
16.
Reach a goal weight of 165 or
less
17.
Run a 5k in 30 min or less
18. Pay off Credit Card Debt
As you can see, I have some serious running goals on here. My plan is to post my running plans, failures, and successes. Hopefully, I'll have more of the latter. I've already started working on my exercise plans. Here is my plan. Its a little different than what you might find on a running website. But, I currently am under the belief that moderation will help me in the long run to avoid injury and burnout. Yesterday, I didn't do a P90X workout, but a Kathy Smith workout instead. I'm flexible and believe it will be in my best interest to be. Today, I'll probably have to run on the treadmill. 111 degree weather isn't going to cut it. Hopefully, I can get into a routine where I actually get up early enough to "beat the heat" 90 degrees is better, anyway.
 |
| The Beginning of the My Running Plans |
I have started to work on the next months as well, but will make adjustments as necessary:
So, I've got my exercise plan in place. My diet is another story for another day...
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